Baby steps

When you finally leave home there are many things that automatically change. You no longer have to attend everything at the church, nor are you roped into helping out last minute. People do not immediately know who you are or who your parents are and it is possible for you to do things without your parents knowing. It is possible to be something other than a preacher's kid. But that requires baby steps, I think. It took me a while to get used to not being so involved in a church that I jumped into a campus ministry. I almost sought out people who knew my parents just to be recognized that way. But one of the biggest steps for me was not telling people that my dad was a minister as soon as I met them. Before most everyone knew what he did thus it was more of a confirmation to say that my dad was a minister. Now it is something to tell people later, when the subject of where I grew up or what my parents do comes about in a conversation. The lifestyle that comes along with being a PK is so different than almost any other lifestyle that being outside of it can be very different. Our identity is no longer wrapped in that of our parents. We can be whom ever we wish to be without the judgement of people in the church.

For me the time after I left home for college was hard. When your whole identity is wrapped up in one part of your life, it is hard to find yourself without that identity. Growing up there was no reason to not be at church, unless you were very sick. Even if I was with my grandparents or at the beach, I would be in church on Sunday morning. The first few weeks of college I never missed a service. But then I took a step towards becoming my own person and decided that I enjoyed the Sunday night service at the campus ministry more and did not go to Sunday morning worship as often as I probably should have. But finding my own service and the place I felt the most comfortable was a step for me. I was not allowed to go out on my own in high school. My senior year my dad's job changed and he was no longer assigned to a church. My parents decided they life one church and I liked a different one, but I was forced to attend the one my parents liked.

I think that as a PK we lose our voice on some matters. We are taught to be polite no matter what, keep our mouths shut always, and go to the church our parents pastor without question. So when we finally get the chance to choose our church, it is a huge step in our personal development but a baby step in becoming a person outside our parents.